For those of you who are new, or are not familiar with Noah's story, I will give a brief review. Last year Noah was a little over two years old. He had almost no words in his vocabulary, threw extreme fits (well above the average "terrible two tantrum"), had a really hard time with change, and spent MUCH of his day crying or droning. We made an appointment to get his hearing checked, and to our surprise his hearing was perfect. We saw a speech therapist, but Noah refused to use words to communicate with us. During his first evaluation with the speech therapist she took copious notes on Noah's behavior and the way he played. She concluded that he was one point away from being on the autism scale, but thought a much more realistic diagnosis was Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). SPD is a disorder which affects the way he handles stimuli from the outside world. After reading and learning what I could about it, I went home and boxed up about half of the toys we had laying around, and worked to organize the rest (Blocks in one box, Potato Head stuff in another, and so on). Of course the organizing needed to be done anyway, and was a fun job for me, but anyway, back to Noah. We learned to control the amount of stimuli coming at him at once. We even moved the TV from the main living area into a room at the other end of the house so that if he wanted to watch a movie it was a nice quiet spot. After months of working hard to carefully monitor his environment this began to improve. The fits became less frequent, less intense, and most exciting of all was Noah began to talk!
Noah is now three years and four months old. He is talking in sentences and is an extremely bright little boy. Recently, we have started noticing the fits coming back. Again, when I say "fits" I am not talking about the run of the mill temper tantrum children of his age are so good at throwing. Although he is capable of throwing regular temper tantrums as well. :) When he throws one of his fits he is absolutely in another world; unable to calm himself down. It is very tiring for both him and me. I have been working hard with him, and I can't tell you how thankful I am for God giving me the patience to deal with this sweet little boy. For those of you reading this who may have a child with SPD, I'll tell you what works for us. Here is an example: I tell Noah he can't have chocolate milk before breakfast. In his anxiety, he throws himself to the floor and screams, unable to control himself. He then runs to the fridge and flings open the doors and climbs in ready to tear the milk from the top shelf. I go over and calmly remove him, shut the door, get down on his level, make eye contact, and tell him he cannot have chocolate milk until after lunch time, but he will not have any if he proceeds with the fit. He continues to run over and fling open the doors. I tell him he will go to time out until he can calm down. He continues, so I take him to time out. This, as expected, makes him even more enraged. He begins yelling at me and pushing me away. I remain calm and keep him in the corner gently but firmly keeping him there when he tries to get out. (I have gotten lots of bruises from him lately) After a few minutes, he begins to calm down. I never yell or demand, this is key to getting him to calm down. The Bible says "Children, obey your parents", most parents stop there, but in the same breath it also says, "and (Fathers), do not provoke your child to anger". I repeat this over and over in my head. Scripture has a verse for everything, doesn't it?! And thank God! If I were to yell or demand he control himself it would just provoke him even more. He is a strong willed child, and I know this is a good quality, but until he is taught how to use it only for good, it can be a struggle. After this process of calming down (and yes, it can take a while) we are able to talk and most of the time move on. Sometimes it starts all over a few seconds later, and we do the same thing.
Being a parent is a tiring job. Just typing this example has elevated my blood pressure a little bit. Rereading it doesn't sound like I am conveying the intensity of it all, but if you've been there, you know! I've always been the kind of person who wanted to have the most well behaved children, cleanest house, etc. I'm a bit of a control freak, and maybe just a tad OCD. Just a tad. And although there is nothing wrong with striving for my best, there comes a time when I had to realize if I wanted those things there was a process to go through. A few years ago you never would have heard me being so openly honest about my child throwing a fit(!). Now, as I have grown in wisdom I realize that's just stupid. Everyone's child throws fits, and it's not about the behavior, it's about HOW I HANDLE IT! I know I've said that before. It's becoming my go to phrase. I realized I could help others going through exactly the same things I am. I'd rather be open about it and help others than pretend nothing bad ever happens in my life. I never want to be a complainer though, and I think that's partly why I stayed away from being open. Please know I am not complaining. I DO think I have the "perfect" life. I am exactly where God wants me to be, and I LOVE it. I enjoy what I do!!! By "perfect", that is what I mean.
In summary, we have also been trying a few changes in Noah's diet to see if that helps. I'll keep you posted.
In other news, we heard from the embassy yesterday and they are processing our paperwork! Hopefully it won't be too long now.
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